She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
