I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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