I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
