You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
