so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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