I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
