Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
