how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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