I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
