You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
