Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
