He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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