Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
