she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
