I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
