Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
