Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
