im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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