I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
