Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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