I cannot find my penis.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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