Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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