just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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