She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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