it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
