he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
