What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
