why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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