I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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