if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
