piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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