70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize