but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
