so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
