She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
