so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
