he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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