There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
