Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
