: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
