I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize