I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
