Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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