Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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