College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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