Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
