part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
