put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just had sex bonerless
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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