Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i think i have two assholes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
