you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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