I accidentally burped into my bong.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
