Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
