I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
