hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
