Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
