she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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