connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
