these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
