Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize